Aquarium

"Aquarium is an exploration of the unfolding consequences of a panic attack, which took place in Beijing in August 2017. The project is a visual research on how I experienced a new city that was rejecting me and that I was subconsciously rejecting at the same time."

I landed in Beijing on the 23rd of August 2017.

When I took my first steps in the Forbidden City, all I could see was a blurred image of something I remembered from looking at photographs, books and online. For the first time, despite being an experienced traveller, I faced a severe panic attack.

At first, the sound of hands moving the ladies’ bathroom curtains was so loud that it was disturbing. And so was the noise coming out of the karaoke bars during the night and the chitchat of people walking on the sidewalk.

Sometimes you observe and sometimes you’re being observed. It’s almost like seeing through a glass that distorts what your eyes see, that makes the light flicker in front of you second after second and inserts you in a completely different world.

And suddenly you are on the other side of that glass. You cannot hear what others say but you can feel the sweet cuddle of the water that surrounds you. And then, before I knew it, that sound of hands moving the bathroom curtains became a lullaby. The noise of the karaoke bars turned into music and the chitchat evolved into rhythm.

Everything became gentle, even the unknown.

Aquarium is the result of a quiet abandonment to self discovery.

For more videos from this project, click here.