As the eldest among my four sisters, we are the offspring of an alcoholic father who is currently on the path to sobriety. Among us four, only Zosia clings to her childhood. I've always found her imagination, courage and self-acceptance fascinating.
Our childhood developed among a constant struggle with loneliness, destabilization, lack of closeness and an enduring sense of guilt. One parent battled alcoholism, both were frequently absent, and our emotions became deeply scarred. A dysfunctional home, paradoxically, creates a strong connection that later constraints your actions. Even after leaving, it lingers within you, and upon returning, you yearn to escape – impossible for a child to fulfill.
In this tale, imagination becomes the safe haven. For Zosia, her room transforms into an entire world, a realm untouched by falseness. Some places become havens where fantasy and play act as a survival mechanism, charming reality and filling in the gaps. My sister has graciously opened her world to me, allowing me to return to our family home, confront my past, and most importantly, engage in play with the hope of finally growing up.
The project merges photographs documenting the room, images of collaborative compositions, and portraits of my sister, our father, and even our mother, who once shied away from playing with us during my childhood. All the photographs showcase the same space – a child's room. This transformed setting is both an interpretation of our reality and a metaphorical visualization of my childhood memories and emotions. It also serves as a chronicle of the healing process, attempting to break through emotional isolation and reconnect with the inner child through play and a return to the world of fantasy.
Approaching the story from an adult perspective while embracing a child's viewpoint, I aim to narrate a tale of a poignant inner void and the desperate attempts to fill it – a journey marked by the improper experience of childhood and the subsequent loss of connection with one's younger self.
